REPEAT) Dear Ed,
Some months ago I found your writings. After reading your experiences with awakening in the shower, I went to the shower and experienced a huge opening. However, it did not persist more than an hour. Whenever I read your writings, my attention is moved to truth, but it always returns to the false (so far).
So, there is a desire to anchor this awareness in Truth. Only in this way can I serve the whole. Perhaps the awakening is coming to all of humanity and there is nothing to “do”, perhaps not. Whatever, I feel inclined to give full attention to that which is important which is to focus on Truth and live from what I “know” myself to be. However, it feels like I need assistance to move in this way. There are deep psychological patterns which limit love expression.
Is it possible to work with you? If so, how do you see it taking place?
With deep gratitude,
A few days later:
I know that I need to be still and silent...for this, I need to act, which means it (Truth of being) MUST be more important than giving attention to the mind agendas. It means dropping attention to habitual mind activities, which means constant watching and choosing truth.
Thank you for itisnotreal.com I am finding many gems there.
I real-eyes that I have been somewhat regressing (attention back to old ego-mind patterns) since my first awakening years ago. It feels like this has happened due to an absence of practice, which came about by the mind grabbing the 'nothing to do' belief of others to whom I listened. Also, I moved to Costa Rica where I have not had the benefits of all the sanghas and satsangs I enjoyed in the US...slowly this attention moved from what is real to the unreal. Life will not allow me to dabble much more in the unreal...
In deep gratitude for your sharing the truth...
You have to start all over I am afraid. You know where you are going, but you need the spiritual energy back.
This means using the Nisargadattta Gita and begin all over again, isolating the sense of I, and meditating on it. It will bring happiness, then bliss, and then grace takes over.
But you do need the effort.
Thanks for the re-minders...guidance
There is openness to drop beliefs, even those Advaitic beliefs, which I guess were a form of worship...
I have listened to Adyashanti for years, but without practice...